International Liaison

In the fall of 1997 I was invited to speak at a charity ball in London in honor of the remission of epidemics spread by animals. As a show of good faith, I decided to bring my disease-free monkey (Charles) with me. Upon arrival, I found that people aren't too fond of monkeys in England; Something about them being dirty and disease-ridden. So I went to a restaurant and brought Charles, big deal! What was I supposed to do, chain him up somewhere while I ate? They seemed to get particularly upset when he jumped up on my table and moved to neighboring tables. It's a proven fact that monkeys' hands are cleaner than human mouths. All that bacteria growing in mouths, and then you have the ever so clean monkey feet, which are constantly exposed to open air. I guess I'll never understand the English, but then again , who can?
I felt like leaving the country that minute, but unfortunately I still had the speaking engagemnet that night, and I wasn't one to cancel an engagement. I proceeded to the ballroom and gave a statistics speech on the decline of epidemics in the jungles worldwide. After a standing ovation, I introduced everyone to my friend Charles by letting him off his leash so he could shake a few hands. They didn't like that so much, and that's when it hit me, the cold reality of the situation.
People want to act all environmentally supportive, but when they're confronted with a gunuine artile they freak out, and lose all composure. It all comes back to money. If there wasn't money in preserving endangered species, most people could care less. It's kind of like the movie "Free Willy." Everyone wants to cage the whale, because they can make a lot of money from it, but the boy and his family actually care about the whale and do all they can to set it free. In a way, Charles is like the whale, and I'm like the boy who's sneaking around at night and setting him free. Only I'm not throwing him into the ocean, 'cause then he'd probably drown.